Chelsey is jigaboo cause she don’t like Kanye’s new album Yeezus.
June 2013
if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar
If all crime was legal for 24 hours I wouldn’t murder I would probably steal a bunch of stuff and spray paint penises everywhere
all the clothes
“Just as the believer is choked by the salt water of doubt constantly washed into his mouth by the ocean of uncertainty, so the nonbeliever is troubled by doubts about his unbelief, about the real totality of the world he has made up his mind to explain as a self contained whole. In short, there is no escape from the dilemma of being a man.”
—J Cardinal Ratzinger, Introduction to Christianity (via sonsofscotland)
“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, ‘So what.’ That’s one of my favorite things to say. ‘So what.’”
—Andy Warhol (via jettrinks)
do u wanna cuddle naked yes or yes
The two best insults I heard today on Xbox:
1 - your mother has two cunts and you’re one of them.
2 - your mom fucks for bricks so that way she can build your sister a whore house.
I love Xbox
- People in 10,000 years: legend has it that females used to spend their whole life trying to get a thigh gap.
“I don’t think there’s anything sadder than when two people are meant to be together and something intervenes.”
—Walter Bishop (via tropiczs)
Proving a point to my mother- reblog if you are not a pedophile.
If everyone doesn’t reblog this, I’m unfollowing all of you.
May 2013
I bet microwaves are actually just filled with a million invisible eyes that just stare at food until it gets all embarrassed and hot
When you make a wish I wonder what happens to it? Who hears it? It has to go somewhere…
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
OMG. YES.
