Chelsey is jigaboo cause she don’t like Kanye’s new album Yeezus.
my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar
do u wanna cuddle naked yes or yes
- People in 10,000 years: legend has it that females used to spend their whole life trying to get a thigh gap.
I bet microwaves are actually just filled with a million invisible eyes that just stare at food until it gets all embarrassed and hot
When you make a wish I wonder what happens to it? Who hears it? It has to go somewhere…
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.